When Ed and Ji dropped us at the start of the AT, Ed asked us to tell him when the hiking honeymoon wears off and we start feeling discouraged. Ed, here's your answer! Our trek from Pearisburg to Dalesvilles was a wet, rocky struggle and we arrived feeling like our creaky bodies had aged 40 years. More than once last week we turned to each other at the end of a long day and asked, "why the heck are we putting ourselves through this?"
The Keffer Oak, the largest tree on the southern AT and around 300 years old
We both recognize this feeling from every long race we've run. That point at the one third to one half mark when you've run far enough to be tired but not far enough that the end is anywhere in sight. In AT lore, it's known as the Virginia Blues. We have every confidence that we'll push through, but I admit that the thought of leaving our motel room tomorrow fills me with sadness. Running water, fresh foods, shaved legs, and clothes that smell like laundry detergent...how I'll miss you!
On the positive side, Shiz and I have each other to commiserate and whine with. Several people have asked how we're doing together - two people who appreciate their space trapped in a 6'x8' tent every night. Actually, we're doing really well, but it's not by accident. We've learned that we can't over-communicate on this trip, especially when our instincts clash. As an example, one of my insecurities is feeling like a novice backpacker; whereas Shiz tends to handle uncertainty by seizing control. So when Shiz takes over a new situation and I immediately get pissy because I think he thinks I'm incompetent, I try to remember that he's just reacting to the newness. In general, we're learning to be compassionate with each other's fears even if we don't share them, and to air any resentment, no matter how slight, before it becomes an issue.
That's not to say that we haven't had our moments (or even hours!). We joke that the distribution of gear in our packs - me with the tent and Shiz with the food - is our best insurance against one of us pushing the other off a cliff! But we've discovered the value in taking care of ourselves so that we can take care of each other (our best worst moments happen when we're hungry) and we're finding ways to feel autonomous, even while being completely interdependent. It's not always easy, but it's so worth it to experience this journey together.
So what now? We'll keep on trudging, confident that the Virginia Blues will pass. In the meantime, though...there's a very fine line between badass and dumbass and I'm not always sure which side we fall. But at least we're there together.
- Sweet Pea
It's most definitely wasn't all discouraging - enjoying some more lovely VA scenery
Atop McAfee knob overlooking miles of southern VA
